mpbooks: Today on mpbooks we have a very special segment for you. I have my top reporter, Maya Papaya, coming live from The Trojan War. Over to you, Maya.
(awkward delay as you wait for Maya to hear you)
Papaya: Thank you. I am here live from the Trojan War. I have a soldier her with me to tell us what’s going on. What’s your name sir?
soldier: My name is Patroclus.
Papaya: So, Patroclus, what’s going one here today? What’s with all the commotion?
Patroclus: What do you live in a hole? It was a trick! They’re all over the place!
Papaya: What was a trick? Who are all over the place?
Patroclus: The Greeks! They tricked us with that stupid horse of theirs. We brought it into the city and then they crawled out and attacked.
Papaya: Crawled out of where?
Patroclus: Crawled out of the horse! You’re not even listening to me! I’m through talking with you.
(Patroclus storms off)
Papaya: Well that was weird and uninformative. Over to you… Wait! I think I see Aeneas! And he’s coming this way! Aeneas! Aeneas! A word please?
Aeneas: Sorry can’t talk I need to find my wife.
random roman soldier: He accidentally left his wife back in the city. He’s going back to look for her.
Papaya: And you are?
soldier: I’m his father, Anchises.
Papaya: Can you tell me what’s going on here?
Anchises: Sure. The Greeks got into Troy and now we’re all running for our lives.
Papaya: I know that…
Anchises: Look there’s Aeneas. Maybe he can answer your questions. Aeneas! This lady wants a word with you!
Papaya: Did you find your wife?
Aeneas: She’s dead.
Papaya: Oh I’m so…
Aeneas: It’s okay. I saw her spirit. She told me to find a new Troy.
Papaya: And on that weird note we will end out. Over to you mpbooks.