The Aeneid

mpbooks: Today on mpbooks we have a very special segment for you. I have my top reporter, Maya Papaya, coming live from The Trojan War. Over to you, Maya.

(awkward delay as you wait for Maya to hear you)

Papaya: Thank you. I am here live from the Trojan War. I have a soldier her with me to tell us what’s going on. What’s your name sir?

soldier: My name is Patroclus.

Papaya: So, Patroclus, what’s going one here today? What’s with all the commotion?

Patroclus: What do you live in a hole? It was a  trick! They’re all over the  place!

Papaya: What was a  trick? Who are all over the place?

Patroclus: The Greeks! They tricked us with that stupid horse of theirs. We brought it into the city and then they crawled out and attacked.

Papaya: Crawled  out of where?

Patroclus: Crawled out of the horse! You’re not even listening to me! I’m through talking with you.

(Patroclus storms off)

Papaya: Well that was weird and uninformative. Over to you… Wait! I think I see Aeneas! And he’s coming this way! Aeneas! Aeneas! A word please?

Aeneas: Sorry can’t talk I need to find my wife.

random roman soldier: He accidentally left his wife back in the city. He’s going back to look for her.

Papaya: And you are?

soldier: I’m his father, Anchises.

Papaya: Can you tell me what’s going on here?

Anchises: Sure. The Greeks got into Troy and now we’re all running for our lives.

Papaya: I know that…

Anchises: Look there’s Aeneas. Maybe he can answer your questions. Aeneas! This lady wants a word with you!

Aeneas: Yes?

Papaya: Did you find your wife?

Aeneas: She’s dead.

Papaya: Oh  I’m so…

Aeneas: It’s okay. I saw her spirit. She told me to find a new Troy.

Papaya: And on that weird note we will end out. Over to you mpbooks.

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